Here is probably the first of many tales from last night. Of course, it will be a different night each time, but this particular one took place two nights ago, Monday the 3rd. There’s probably a moral somewhere in here, but I’m not entirely sure where or what, so feel free to leave a comment on what you think it might be.
Our night starts by me shooting out a text to a bunch of people who are my regular clubbing friends, to some solid people, and to a few people who I’ve never gone out with, but have habitually extended an invitation to me. The people I ended up going out with were my roommate, Raph, and two girls who fall into the last of those categories and will be known as Jen and Erin.
I’ve only known them both a short while, Erin having only known me for a few months and only seeing me in person twice before last night. Raph and I show up at their place, hang out a little bit while they predrink and end up going to the bar a little after 11. A real cheap, dirty dive bar in Waterloo that is fairly well known to the area and frequented by university students. It’s more my crowd, people are generally more approachable there, and intellectual conversations are a bonus.
The night begins by Jen bailing after being there for maybe 20 minutes. That leaves us to have to watch over Erin, who is well on her way to being drunk at this point. That’s all well and good if it wasn’t for the fact that she appears like she’s quite taken with me and determined to gain my attention in whatever way she can find.
It starts while we’re dancing when she attempts to mark her territory by placing her scarf around my neck. I don’t really react, and keep dancing, sometimes incorporating it into some moves. I eventually pawn it off on Raph when we step outside for him to have a smoke.
I didn’t tell Erin we were going outside because she appeared to be having a fine time dancing and no one was bothering her. When we come back in, she takes me aside and pulls me close to tell me how terrified she was that we left her alone. I’m not really buying it, but I tell her I’ll let her know next time. During our dancing, my ex-girlfriend and her friend are on the dance floor with us and I casually go between groups dancing and being social with the people I know. We’re on good terms, me and my ex, so it’s not really a big deal. About 10 minutes after Erin told me how terrifying being alone in this bar was, Raph and I decide to get a drink, assuming she wouldn’t want to be left alone again in such a terrifying place. We start making our way to the back of the bar.
I turn around to see if she’s following and she’s not. What the hell happened to being afraid of being left alone? I scan the dance floor from where I am and see that she’s talking to my ex. ‘Fuck this,’ I think as I push my way through the crowd. I don’t know what she’s doing, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like it. She never does follow us, but we intended to continue dancing. Almost as soon as she sees me, she grabs a nearby chick and starts aggressively making out with her. Cool. Whatever.
I find out that Erin told my ex that she was interested in me and tried shoving my ex onto some random guy nearby. To me, it seemed like an attempt to quell any form of distraction I might have. I keep dancing and continue to ignore her like I’ve been doing the whole night because I never really had any interest, and thought she was just a friend. There had been subtle signs in the past that she might’ve been interested, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.
I talk to some girls, and they’re showing pretty good interest, but I don’t do much about it because I figure there’s a double fault of risking offending my ex and having this other chick explode at them or something. Sure – always be closing, make a move no matter what, fuck what they think, etc. – but sometimes it’s probably not the best idea to do so. I may have downplayed how much she could affect my life, but I’d rather leave some level of anonymity.
She ended up inadvertently trying to DHV with us by showing us some texts guys have sent her about how much they want her, and her putting them down. Essentially: these guys want me, but I’m not interested in them. I’m high value, and I’m still available.
At one point, she comes over and starts feeling me up with her make out buddy in tow, introducing us. I still don’t know what that was about, but the make-out girl ends up getting annoyed and leaves in confusion at what the hell’s I happening. You and me both, sister. It’s at this point that I make clear in no uncertain terms that I am not interested in her, though I might be mistaken about her intention. She gets mad at me and tells me she never had any interest in me, then proceeds to feel me up the rest of the night while asking “is this ok for a friend to do this? Just as a friend” that I brush off and say yeah, whatever. I frequent this place so maybe it’ll give me some social proof for the future, but who knows. Why am I putting up with this behaviour? I feel responsible for her because she’s a mess and I drove her there, and it’s implied that I’ll be driving her back. The night ends without many more mishaps and I drop her off at her place, driving off into the night wondering what the hell that was all about. Fade to black.
One thing I realized from this is that the more people you know, the more you’ll find two groups of relatively rare people: The truly solid, awesome people you want to fill your life with… and the truly insane and unstable who you would generally like to avoid. I suppose it just takes some time honing your skills to identify who is who.
So, what’s the moral? Like I said, I’m not sure. It could be that you should be careful when choosing who to go out with… or maybe meet up at the bar so that you’re not responsible for them getting home? Or maybe it could be as simple as just learning to avoid this particular girl. Let me know what you think.